X Park part 3 and beyond
by MFSMG2
Summary: Sequel to Tweek Park, Eric Cartman is pissed off(again) and tries to kill Kyle. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Kyle Park**

Pip:How lovely!

Stan:Shut up Pip, stop being so masochistic.

Pip: Righto.

Stan:Dude I just broke your left hand and arm, your nose, one tooth, gave you two black eyes and your bleeding like that elevator scene from The Shining!Why do you like this so much?!

Pip:*blushes*….Because I love you.

Stan:What?

[My heart will go on by Celine Dion plays in the background while Stan and Pip get closer and closer]

Kyle:STAN!Wait what are you two doing? You're minors!

Pip:I'm 155.

Stan:And I'm 're 23 too.

Cartman:Anyway, Kenny is alive look![Cartman shows Kenny to Stan, but he's shown to be impaled with a jewish star on his neck]…What the FUCK?!

Stan:Oh my gawd!Someone killed Kenny!

Craig:You-

Butters:Bas-

Tweek:*twitches*TARDSHNWDBHWASABCAWUBX!

Cartman:KYLE!You filthy Jew I can't believe you used your Jew heritage to kill Kenny!

Kyle:Maybe it was another jew fatass!

Cartman:Kyle you're our only jew friend!

Kyle Schwartz:I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Kyle:No.

Kyle Schwartz: Oh, alright then.*walks away*

Cartman:You're going to get arrested Kyle! But first, we're gonna get you to court.

Butters:Oh hamburgers!

Craig:Shit just got real.

Stan:But who'll be the judge?

Butters:Eric of course!

Cartman:You're god damn right! Gentlemen, let's get down to business and start Kyle's trial.

Craig: I'm going to get some popcorn first.

Tweek:*twitches*AGH!Me too.

Cartman:Call everyone you know,Butters.

Butters:But I'll get grounded.

Cartman:Then call everyone but your parents. You know Kyle's entire jew family, Terrance Mephesto, Alex Glick,Wendy,Red,Bill,Fosse,Darth Chef,Stan's dog,Damien,Dogpoo,Jason,Leeroy Jenkins,Clyde?

Butters:Okay.*calls Clyde* Clyde, Kyle is getting arrested!You've gotta go to the trial!

Cartman:Alright gentlemen,we're off again! [locks the basement while Stan and Pip are still there]

Pip:So...*blushing with bedroom eyes*where were we?

Stan:*punches him*Nope,I'm going home.*unlocks the door and leaves*

THE END


	2. Stan Park

**Stan Park**

[Next day, the boys are in a courthouse]

Cartman: Ok Kyle, your trial starts now.

Kyle: Hi Kenny.

Cartman: What?

Kyle: Kenny is here.*shows Kenny*

Kenny: (Hi guys what's going on?)

Stan: Wait what just happened?

Kyle :Yeah why are we on a courthouse?

Cartman: GODDAMNIT!

Craig: Let' go home.

Clyde: Yeah.

Tweek: GAH!

Token: How did I get here?

Cartman: NOOOOOOO!

Kyle: Why are you screaming Fat-ass?

Cartman: Kenny was dead, and you were going to jail!

Wendy: Am I going to be introduced now?

Craig: You'll speak in the next chapter.

Wendy: Why?

Craig: I'm not the writer.

Kyle: Wait Kenny died?

Stan: I don't remember that.

Clyde: Me neither.

Cartman: But he dies every fucking time, dirty greedy jew!

Stan: Whatever. Anyone want to go to my house?

Kyle: Okay,I'm bored anyway.

Cartman: I swear to god, Kyle. Someday I'm gonna kill you.

Token: I'll come with you Stan.

Cartman:OHMYGOD I'M SO PISSED OOOOOFF!KAAAAAMEEEEE...

Kyle: Not THIS again!

Cartman:HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEE...

Token:He can do a Kamehameha?

Stan: Quick everyone get into my house before Fat-ass kills us.

Cartman:AAAAAAAAAAAAA!*shoots a stronger kamehameha than last time*

Stan: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Cartman: Those bastards went to Stan's house,better make up a plan.*goes to his house*

[Meanwhile]

Stan: It's confirmed, Cartman is more insane than we thought.

Kyle: I think he did worse things than just throwing kamehamehas everywhere.

Craig: Yeah, remember the time he cooked that kid's parents?

Tweek: What If he did that to MY parents. OOGNFNVGODJESUSJSD!

Clyde: Calm the fuck down.

Kyle: Now that's what I called a sticky situation right Kenny...Kenny?

Stan:Where's Kenny?

Kyle: Oh my god, he killed Kenny!

Stan: You bast-wait Kyle that was my line.

Kyle: Oh,sorry about that. Anyway that fat bastard!

Stan: Guys, I think we have to kill Cartman.

Kyle:Or atleast break his legs.

Token: And his arms.

Craig: And his di-

Stan: Dude, don't go too far.

[Cartman's house. Cartman is going to his basement]

Cartman: Holy shit was this really locked for 2 days?*opens door*Now, for my evil plan!

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Craig Park

**Craig Park**

 **[Author's note:If you've been reading "X Park" for quite some time(or if you read Eric Park and Tweek Park) you might remember that I said that it is a parody of "South Park", but that's NOT true actually(honest mistake on my part,sorry),mostly because I use my personal interpretations(or headcanons) of the South Park characters in this series and I might use them in fanfics that are NOT related to X Park. However it makes fun of other shows like Dragon Ball Z. So, with that in mind, sit back,relax and enjoy another chapter of X Park!]**

Wendy:So, Cartman has been killing people by throwing kamehamehas,right?

Kyle:Yeah.

Wendy:How about , I don't know,see how he got them?

Stan:Maybe he was born with them?

Craig:Maybe Master Roshi taught him.

Tweek:Maybe he has a cult that-

Kyle:You guys, why do we care about how he got his powers?What we need to do is kicks his ass back to 1997 and then maybe he'll calm down or something.

Craig:But he's out of control!

Stan:So what?If we gather everyone we know to beat him up he'll probably pass out.

Tweek:I agree.

Token:Me too.

Clyde:What they said!

Butters:What's a cult?

[Cut to Cartman sitting on a table finishing his plan. He grabs a compass and a protractor just like in "Scott Tenorman must die".]

Cartman:And then, I'll set up a chili-con carnival and they're going to wish they would never met me![silence]

Pip:…Um…Can I go now?

Cartman:No, you can't, I need someone to give me advice and I locked you in my basement because I needed some advice,lame as they are.

Pip:Oh,I think that's a good idea,Cheerio!*leaves*

Cartman:Son of a bitch!

[Next ,Kyle and the other characters are in Stan's backyard.]

Token:I think this is everyone we know.

Stan:Even Jason and Scott Malkinson?

Butters:They're all here!

Kyle:Then let's all destroy Cartman once and for all!*everyone cheers*

Pip:Actually, Eric is preparing a carnival again, just like he did 15 years ago.

Kyle:He is?!

Wendy:So let's crush that fat piece of crap in his own Festival!*everyone cheers again*

Kyle:Let's go!

[Meanwhile Cartman is preparing his Chili-con Festival.]

Cartman:They would think it's just a simple chili-con carnival, but it's actually the place that they're going to meet their demise.*he has a creepy grin on his face*

Announcer:Who is going to win this showdown?Everyone from the quiet mountain town that is South Park?Or Eric Cartman?The answer is coming on an all-new X Park!

Kenny:(ANOTHER Cliff-hanger?)

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. KENNY PARK(THE FINALE)

**Kenny Park**

 **THE X PARK FINALE**

 **An anime opening appears** (It's actually the Neon Genesis Evangelion opening)

 _Zankoku na tenshi no you ni("MF Presents")  
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare...("X Park")_

Aoi kaze ga ima mune no doa wo tataitemo,(Cartman appears)  
Watashi dake wo tada mitsumete  
Hohoenderu Anata (Shillouettes of Kyle and Stan show up)  
Sotto Fureru mono(cut to Kenny)  
Motomeru koto ni muchuu de,(Kenny's in a different pose with Cartman in the background)  
Unmei sae mada shiranai itaikena hitomi(Tweek appears in a window)

Dakedo itsuka kizuku deshou(Cartman is in his basement looking at the ground with an evil grin on his face)  
Sono senaka ni wa(cut to still images of Craig,Butters,Pip and Tweek)  
Haruka mirai mezasu tame no(Cartman gets pissed off...)  
Hane ga aru koto...(...Then he fires a kamehameha.)

Zankoku na tenshi no te-ze(Cartman poses while "Cheesy Poofs","Kamehameha" and other stuff show up every 5 seconds. An image of his mom appears before Tweek appears standing in his room at night,  
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu("Charlies's Angels" and "Colorado" appear alongside still images of Wendy,Jason,Dogpoo Petuski,Bebe,Shelly,Pip, Craig and Loogi/Luigi)  
Hotobashiru atsui patosu de(These next two verses have a bunch of text and scenes from Eric Park,Tweek Park,Craig Park etc...flash at your face)  
Omoide wo uragiru nara  
Kono zora wo daite kagayaku(Cartman lowers his body and prepares to fire another Kamehameha)  
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare(Different pictures of Cartman appear)

CUT TO THE ACTUAL STORY

(The Cartman is in his Chili-con Carnival smiling and staring at Stan's house. Then, he appears right next to him)

Stan:Hello fatass.

Cartman:Well,hi Stan,wouldn't you want to pet this pony?(points to My little Pony's Applebloom)

Applebloom:What?

Stan:Actually...*Stan's army shows up*

Tweek:AGH!*Twitches*This is too much pressure for me you guys!

Kyle:We knew you would make another Chilli-Con Carnival so-

Wendy:We're gonna take you down fatass!

Clyde:What she said!

Cartman:I already knew that you were going to my Carnival and kick my ass, but it wont be that easy,you dirty jews.

Craig:What do you mean?

Cartman:I'll have to assume my ultimate form.

Tweek:YOUR WHAT?!

Cartman:Yep,Goku taught me how to do that.

Bebe:You met Goku?

Tweek:YOU GUYS!THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

Butters:You never told us he had an ultimate form,Kyle.

Kyle:How was I supposed to know?

Stan:Come on guys, he can't be that strong.

Jimmy:I mean, c-c-come on,he'll probably d-do a monologue before he a-assumes his ultimate form.

Kyle:And then we'll beat him for su-*Cartman zaps him with a lightning bolt*

Stan:WHAT THE FUCK?!

Cartman:Bet you didn't expect that, dumbass.

Wendy:That doesn't!*pulls a rapier*Take this-AAGH!*Cartman zaps her*

Cartman:There you go.

Craig:Oh my god,this is the cringiest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Bebe:*to Craig*Give him a break!

Craig:Whatever.

Cartman:You guys are nothing.I thought you could beat me,Stan.

Stan:Shut up fatass.*grabs a sword*I'm going to beat you, even if I'm the last one standing!

*Darth Chef appears*

Darth Chef:Hello there children.

Stan:We're 24.

Darth Chef:Goodbye.*leaves*

Tweek:I'LL HELP YOU STAAAAN!*throws coffee grounds at Cartman,but he dodges them*

Cartman:He he he...You asked for it,so here you go.*starts hovering and turns Super Sayian*MY ULTIMATE FOOOOOOORM!IIIIIIIII AAAM YOUR GOD NOOOOOOW!

Butters:Oh hamburgers!

Craig:Dude...now THIS is the cringiest thing I've ever seen.

Bebe:Shut up Craig, you don't know anything.

Cartman:You know,I've always hated you guys...*starts a monologue*

Stan:Melvins, do your thing!

*Butters,Pip and Dougie pull their weapons Steven Universe style. Butters has a hammer, Pip has a bow and arrow and Dougie has a whip*

Stan:Fire!

Pip:Right-o!*shoots an arrow*

Butters:Take this!*throws hammer*

Dougie:What?Oh,huh...Don't forget about me!...or something.*grabs Cartman with his whip*

(Cartman manages to break the arrow,the hammer and the whip whith his bare hands)

Cartman:You really think you can beat me?

Dougie:Yeah, pretty much.

Cartman:I'll kamehameha the shit out of you!*prepares a kamehameha*KAAAAAMEEE...

Butters:*gasps*

Pip:*grabs a white flag*I surrender!

Cartman:AAAAAAAMEEEE...

Stan:Everyone duck!

Cartman:AAAA-

(Suddenly, a shadow appears out of nowhere and jumps in the air)

Kyle:NOT SO FAAAAAST!*Kicks Cartman in the face, then goes up to Stan and his team*

Craig:Holy shit!

Cartman:Augh...I...I am gonna...*falls*

Kyle:We...we did it.

Stan:Yeah.

Kyle:We beat Cartman.

Tweek:*calms down*Oh jesus.

Craig:Is it over?

Token:Yup.

(Wendy gains counsciousness again and walks up to them)

Wendy:Looks like Fatass lost his Sayian powers.

Stan:It was for the greater good.

Butters:Hey!I actually have an idea.

Kyle:What is it?

MF(the writer):Better be good.

Butters:Well...

(2 days later. An acoustic cover of Cruel Angel's Thesis starts playing)

Kyle:Cartman get in the robot!

Cartman:Nah.

Stan:Come on you said you wanted to be Shinji but now you've spent 20 minutes doing nothing but piss us off!JUST GET IN THE ROBOT!

Cartman:*sighs*Fine.

Kyle:Wait this isn't going to work Tweek doesn't want to be Rei.

Tweek:I'm afraid...

Butters:Why don't we just get along without some epic storyline?

Stan:I agree.

Token:Me too.

Clyde:What they said!

Pip:I killed Kenny.(Music stops.)

Kyle:WHAT?!

Dougie:That's impossible!Kenny is right there!*points to Kenny*

Kenny: (You finally cracked,didn't you?)

Stan:K...

Kyle:Kenny?

Kenny:(Hi.)

Kyle:Where have you been?

Kenny:(I've been right here the whole time.)

Kyle:Oh.

Stan:Hey you guys,wanna see my new Chinpokomon?

Craig:I guess.

Pip:God bless us everyone!

Stan:Shut up Pip!

(The fast, Eurobeat/Techno part of "Believe (in Wonderland)" starts playing)

 **THE END**


	5. Butters Park(BONUS)

**Butters Park**

 **[Author's note:The first part of the X Park series, also known as Eric Park, recently reached the milestone of 100 views. So here's another Evangelion parody/ bonus(actually it's a "deleted " scene from the last chapter)! *Running in the 90s starts playing*]**

[Stan's and his "crew" are staring at the unconscious Cartman after they defeated him]

Kyle:Well,that was a pain in the ass.

Stan:Yup.

Butters:It sure was.

Craig:I agree.

Clyde:What he said!

Wendy:I wonder what's in his mind right now.

Pip:In whose mind?

Stan:Shut up.

Wendy:He must feel so humiliated right of the power that he had was just taken away from him...I kinda feel bad for him.

Kenny:(WHAT THE FUCK?!)

Tweek:ArE YoU InSaNe?

Wendy:I mean,look at him!*cut to Cartman*Don't you feel at least some pity for him?

Stan:I guess.

Kyle:I don't feel anything.

Bebe:I'm out of doritos, so I'll be going now.

Wendy:Wait,maybe if we do something nice to him,maybe he'll start to like us.

Stan:You sound like you don't know him,Wendy.

Wendy:I'm just saying.

Kyle:Wait,What if we all congratulate him ironically, like in a "Congrats, now go fuck yourself" kinda way,you know?

Wendy:I think you're missing the point of this guys,we're-

Stan:You know,that's not such a bad idea.

Bebe:You know what,I wanna see how this ends.

Craig:Nobody cares.

Token:Huh?

[Cartman's is in a pitch black room]

Cartman:What the hell is this?

Stan:You're such a fatass,Cartman!

Cartman:Well then how about you-

Butters:Don't you know that we have feelings too?

Cartman:Huh?

Kenny:(You never think about the others because you want to live by yourself.)

Cartman:Exactly!

Token:Maybe if you think about how other people feel,they would help you when you're in trouble.

Kyle:And we could kill hippies together!

Cartman:You know you can't change me,Kyle.I will always be like this,even if you're trying to change me.

[Back to Stan's backyard]

Clyde:Why are we whispering to his ear?

Wendy:Because I want him to change his views and all that Shakespearian shit.

Tweek:Oh,c-can I join too?

Kyle:I guess.

Token:I think he can hear us,you guys.

Timmy:(out of nowhere)TIMMAH!

Kenny:(Hi Timmy.)

[Back to Cartman's mind]

Cartman:*yawns*I'm telling you Wendy,you can't just change a person like that.

Bebe:Oh yeah?

Clyde:We just want to know why you're like this Cartman.

Cartman:Because I think it's funny to see people's reactions.

Kyle:A sadist,huh?

Stan:You said it.

Wendy:If you continue to be like this very bad things are going to happen.

Butters:Like that guy Scrooge,you know?

Cartman:Scrooge?You mean you're going to make me give people money just like in that stupid Charles Dickhead story?

Pip:*nervous and angered at the same time*E-Eric,what did you ju-

Catman:You heard me frenchie!Now,don't you DARE enter MY mind ever again!

Butters:What about me?

Dougie:Can I join you guys?

Craig:I'm just passing by.

Cartman:What the actual fuck is going on right now?

Token:I...I actually don't know!

Tweek:OHMYGODYUGUYWEDBWWCWCFW!

Dougie:What?

Stan:What the heck is wrong with him?

Wendy:I think we're getting a bit carried away guys!

Bebe:Butters do something!We're running out of ideas!

Butters:Ok,let me think of somethin'.

Craig:Make it quick.

Butters:Oh,I know!Hey Eric?

Cartman:*eating popcorn*Hm?

Butters:Why do you...

Wendyy:Find other people's pain...

Kenny:(So damn funny?)

Cartman:Because it is funny.

Kyle:Which means?

Cartman:You know how it is Kyle,you also love seeing people you hate in pain.

Tweek:And that means?

Cartman:You know, when you're walking to school and you see the guy you beat up yesterday crying because he has no friends and you just made his life worse, and the-

Pip:I-

Cartman:SHUT THE FUCK UP!You're out of words?That means I'm breaking your already emotionally broken mind,just like you're trying to crack mine!

Butters:And that means?

Cartman:What the hell do you want from me?Are you against me or something?Don't you think that battle we had was enough?

Kyle:And that means?

Cartman:DUDE!

Stan:A person's truth is so simple that most ignore it to think are deeper truths.

Craig:You,for example,always guessed that other people loved you just like you love yourself.

Wendy:You never learned how to deal with the thought of people ignoring you,so you avoid it.

Cartman:But,don't the others love me and think I'm their hero and stuff?

Kyle:What ARE you STUPID?Haven't you realized it's all in your imagination,you fatass!

Cartman:But I hate you guys.

Tweek:One who truly hates others,he can never love,he can never face his trust in another.

Cartman:But if other people hate me,then I'll have to force them to love me. *good or don't be starts playing*Yes,I get it now.I'll continue to hurt people,but I'll also hurt those who dare to hate me, and if they try to ignore me,I'll make their life a living hell! **My life is worth living here!**

[Stan's backyard]

Stan:He's waking up!

Cartman:*wakes up*What th-

All:WOW!YEAH!YOU DID IT!GREAT!

Stan: Congratulations!

Kyle: Congratulations!

Kenny: Congratulations!

Craig: Congratulations!

Tweek: Congratulations!

Butters: Congratulations!

Pip: Congratulations!

Dougie:Congratulations!

Wendy: Congratulations!

Bebe: Congratulations!

Kevin: Congratulations!

Jason: Congratulations!

Darth Chef: Congratulations.

Timmy:TIMMAH!

Mr Kitty: Meow.

Kyle Schwartz: Congratulations!

Red: Congratulations!

Peridot: Congratulations clod!

Applebloom: Congratulations!

Segata Sanshiro:おめでとう!

Chuck Norris: Congratulations!

DP Petuski: Congratulations!

Ike: Conglaturation.

Liane Cartman:… Congratulations hon!

Cartman:*laughs*Screw you all.

 **["Thank you mom, screw you Kyle and to all the viewers:CONGRATULATIONS."]**

 **THE END**


End file.
